How often have you been lost for words at a business party? You speak about the weather, the picture on the wall, And then what? During cocktails and hors d'oeuvres, you can make new business contacts or cement relationships with existing customers. But most of us hate superficial small talk and don't know how to make polite chitchat at office parties.

It's really not as hard as you think, says Ewen Mee, a communication expert and author of ‘How to Move in Modern Business’. Here Mee highlights six important ‘DON’TS’ and gives some useful advice on how to communicate effectively in certain small talk situations.

1. Arriving empty-headed
"People walk into a room full of strangers, and they don't know what to talk about," Mee says. Few of us are good at thinking on the spot, and it shows when we're trying to make clever conversation at a moments notice. The usual result is boring business talk or repeating yourself because you've run out of topics to discuss. Instead, select some conversation subjects before you get to the party. "It's important to have a good variety of topics," Mee says. "If not, you'll end up talking about work, and your business may not be an appropriate topic of conversation." Mee suggests talking about the "big things" that are going on in your life: a home-improvement project, your favourite activity or pastime or a new addition to your family, whether it's a child or a dog. Letting people hear about your personal life can make you a more interesting conversation partner, and sharing personal details about yourself helps to relax the people around you and encourage them to open up more. Talking about business is not always a bad idea, as long as you think about what things a person who is not in your company would find interesting.

2. Assuming everyone's acquainted
Don’t automatically think that you’re the only person who doesn’t know anyone. People who think that way usually run away and hide behind a plant or stay close to the walls. Behaving this way will make you look shy, introverted and difficult to approach. Assume that nobody knows anyone. "Walk into the room with the attitude that people want to meet you. That's why people come to parties, to socialize," Mee says. If you keep your thoughts positive and outgoing, it will be easier to go up to someone and introduce yourself. You'll also come across as confident and as somebody that people want to get to know.

3. Waiting for introductions
Once you've acknowledged that there are acquaintances to be made, don't wait for others to make the first move. "It's a mistake to wait for others to introduce themselves," Mee says. "It's taking a passive approach and it's similar to sitting in a chair and being the 'potted plant.' It makes people feel that they have to do all the work." And if you don't start the introductions, it's quite possible that, either because of laziness or shyness, no one else will be the first to say "Hi." Mee suggests a simple five-step introductory process:

1. Establish eye contact
2. Smile
3. Put your hand out to invite a handshake
4. Say hello
5. Introduce yourself.

People will be relieved and grateful that you've taken the initiative. Most people will enjoy talking to you, but be careful not to interrupt private, intense conversations. Body language should help you decide if people are happy to be approached or not. Feel free to join a large group, but ask permission before you attach yourself to a group. Say something like, ‘Do you mind if I join you?’ or ‘I hope I’m not interrupting.’

4. Getting distracted
Even if you go to the business party with the appropriate outgoing attitude, you can lose it if you don't actively participate. "You walk into the room, sit down in the chair and grow roots like a potted plant," Mee says. That's a mistake because it gives other people the impression that they're supposed to come to you. "It makes it difficult to approach you and you appear closed and defensive," Mee notes.

”Keep circulating and move toward the area of the room where people are congregating," Mee advises. "It shows you are available for conversation and that you're confident and ready to interact." You don't have to be moving continually, but when you do stop, find a place conducive to communication. Hanging out by the buffet table can be a good location, as is the centre of the room. Try to avoid staying close to the walls.

5. Bad body Language
When people are tense or bored they tend to let their shoulders drop and cross their arms. They don't smile, and if they're nervous, they avoid making eye contact. These are the wrong messages to send at a party. It's like putting up a "don't talk to me" sign or worse, one that reads, "I don't want to talk to you." "You're telling your client that he or she is boring or that you don't care about them," Mee says. Try to make your body language open and welcoming . Uncross your arms and rest them by your sides or put a hand in your pocket. And always remember to smile and make eye contact. Even if you don't have anything brilliant to say, just having good body language will help make a good impression.

6. Never saying goodbye
People come to parties to mingle. If you hold onto the one person you know at a party, you won't seem open and won't meet many people. It's important to get to know others. But you've also got to know when it's time to say goodbye. There's a real art to successfully leaving party conversations. When you're ready to move on, use the person's name and make eye contact. Give a warm smile and say you enjoyed the discussion, but that you need to speak to some other people at the party. It’s a nice idea to repeat something the person told you and say how you found the comment interesting. If you sincerely want to speak to this person again, ask if you could stay in contact and exchange business cards.

"Here are five ways to start a good conversation and show genuine interest in another person:
- "I noticed..."
- "Tell me..."
- "I appreciate..."
- "What do you think..." , What’s your opinion on…” or, "I need some advice on.."
- "Why do you say that..."

"Listening is very important to proper communication. Listen first and then reply in the same business manner of the person you are communicating with. Watch your conversation partner for signs of understanding. Their English may not be as good as yours. Remember that body language, direct eye contact, open honesty and a healthy positive attitude go a long way.”