Texan Holiday in Australia 
A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation. There he meets an Aussie farmer and gets talking. The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, "Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large." Then they walk around the ranch a little, and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle. The Texan immediately says, "We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows." The conversation has, meanwhile, almost died when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field. He asks, "And what are those?" The Aussie replies with an incredulous look, "Don't you have any grasshoppers in Texas?" 


The US State Mottos 
1) Alabama: At Least We're not Mississippi 
2) Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't be Wrong! 
3) Arizona: Dehyd-rific! 
4) Arkansas: Litterasy Ain't Everthing 
5) California: Se Habla Ingles 
6) Colorado: If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother 
7) Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, Only Dirtier and With Less Character 
8) Florida: The Gunshine State 
9) Georgia: We Put the "Fun" in Fundamentalist Extremism 
10) Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death to Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money) 
11) Idaho: Famous Potatoes ... and Neo-Nazis 
12) Illinois: Gateway to Iowa 
13) Indiana: 2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free 
14) Iowa: Land of James T. Kirk 
15) Kansas: First Of The Rectangle States 
16) Kentucky: Five Million People, Fifteen Last Names 
17) Louisiana: We're Not All Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign 
18)  Maine: For Sale 
19) Maryland: A Thinking Man's Delaware 
20) Massachusetts: The Sue Me State 
21) Michigan: First Line of Defense From the Canadians 
22) Minnesota: Land of 7,000 lakes and 3,000 man-made ponds 
23) Mississippi: Come Feel Better About Your Own State 
24) Missouri: You're Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars at Work 
25) Montana: Land of the Big Sky, the Unabomer, and Very Little Else 
26) Nebraska: Ask About Our State Motto Contest 
27) Nevada: Whores and Poker! 
28) New Hampshire: Go Away and Leave Us Alone 
29) New Jersey: You Want a ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right Here! 
30) New Mexico: Lizards Make Excellent Pets 
31) New York: You Have the Right to Remain Silent, You Have the Right to an Attorney 
32) North Carolina: Tobacco is a Vegetable 
33) North Dakota: Um... We've got... Um... Dinosaur Bones? Yeah, Dinosaur Bones! 
34) Ohio: Don't Judge Us by Cleveland 
35) Oklahoma: Like the Play Only No Singing 
36) Oregon: Spotted Owl, It's What's For Dinner 
37) Pennsylvania: Cook With Coal 
38) Rhode Island: We're Not REALLY An Island 
39) South Carolina: Incest is Best 
40) South Dakota: Closer Than North Dakota 
41) Tennessee: The Educashun State 
42) Texas: Don't Mess with Texas -- We're Armed 
43) Utah: Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus 
44) Vermont: Yep 
45) Virginia: Who Says Government Stiffs and Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix? 
46) Washington: Keep Washington Green, Grow Hemp 
47) Washington, D.C.: Wanna Be Mayor? 
48) West Virginia: One Big Happy Family -- Really! 
49) Wisconsin: Come Cut Our Cheese 
50) Wyoming: Wynot?