Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience
Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.
“My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife, you’ll be happy; if not, you’ll become a philosopher.”
“A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.”
Marriage is the one subject on which all women agree and all men disagree.
"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."
James Holt McGavran
"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury."
"In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker."
"I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her."
"A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished."
Zsa Zsa Gabor
“Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.”
Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house.
I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. And by then it was too late.