Chistes en inglés sobre el lenguaje

The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).

In the first year, 's' will be used instead of the soft 'c'. Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard 'c' will be replaced with 'k.' Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome 'ph' will be replaced by 'f'. This will make words like 'fotograf' 20 per sent shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent 'e's in the languag is disgrasful, and they
would go.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'th' by 'z' and 'w' by 'v'.

During ze fifz year, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords kontaining 'ou', and similar changes vud of kors; be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil b no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru.

Some literal translations, English to Spanish:-

INGLES ESPAÑOL

From lost to the river
The mother who gave birth to him
Sissy the last
Great sissy the last
For if the flies
Everywhere they boil beans
Composed an without girlfriend
Go out by legs
If I have seen you, I don't remember
Switch off an let's go
It is not turkey mucus
It sweats me
That if you want rice Catherine
Shit little parrot
Morning-singer
Another who such dance
To another thing, butterfly
What of-taylor
Among whistles and flutes
Like water of May
Marking parcel
To put in a cigar
My happyness in a hole
Sissy of beach
Wave!
To god!

De perdidos al río
La madre que lo parió
Mariquita el último
Maricón el último
Por si las moscas
En todas partes cuecen habas
Compuesto y sin novia
Salir por piernas
Si te he visto, no me acuerdo
Apaga y vámonos
No es moco de pavo
Me la suda
Que si quieres arroz, Catalina
Cágate, lorito
Cantamañanas
Otro que tal baila
A otra cosa, mariposa
Que desastre
Entre pitos y flautas
Como agua de Mayo
Marcando paquete
Meter un puro
Mi gozo en un pozo
Marica de playa
Hola!
Adiós!

Ebonics Ten Commandments
1. I be God. Don' be dissing me.
2. Don' be makin hood ornaments outa me or nothin in my crib.
3. Don' be callin me for no reason - homey don' play that.
4. Y'all betta be in church on Sundee.
5. Don' dis ya mama ... an if ya know who ya daddy is, don' dis him neither.
6. Don' ice ya bros.
7. Stick to ya own woman.
8. Don' be liftin no goods.
9. Don' be frontin like you all that an no snitchin on ya homies.
10. Don' be eyein' ya homie's crib, ride, or nothin like dat.