“Reality is the illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.”
W.C. Fields

“I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.”
W.C. Fields

“ A woman drove me to drink and I didn't have the decency to thank her”. 
W.C. Fields

“The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drink behind.” 
Humphrey Bogart

“If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer it makes the beer shoot out of your nose.” 
Jack Handy

“Beauty lies in the hands of the beerholder”
Anonymous

Old wood best to burn, old wine to drink, old friends to trust, and old authors to read.
Athenaeus

One reason why I don't drink is because I wish to know when I am having a good time.
Nancy Astor

If I could drink only one wine, it would be Champagne.
Gary Vaynerchuk

First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.
F. Scott Fitzgerald

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
Frank Sinatra

Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism.
Carl Jung

Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.
George Bernard Shaw