Explain the problem

The first step is to explain the problem.

To do it effectively, you must use polite, respectful language. In English, polite language is usually indirect.

For example, if you are at a restaurant and the server forgets to bring your drink, saying, “You didn’t bring my drink” may be too direct. It may sound critical and cause the server to become defensive.

So here are a few phrases you can use to politely explain your problem.

Let’s start with “I think you may have…”

Oh, hi! I think you may have forgotten to bring my drink.

Here is another opening line: “I’m sorry to have to say this but…”

Hi. How’s it going? I’m sorry to have to say this, but I noticed some damage to my clothing.

Or you can simplify it with the words: “I just noticed…”

Hi. How’s it going? I just noticed some damage to my clothing.

Here’s another useful phrase: “I’m sorry to bother you, but…”

Hi, there. I’m sorry to bother you, but my hotel room is a little cold.

Or you might say: “There seems to be a mistake…”

Hi! How are you? There seems to be a mistake on my billing statement. I think you may have overcharged me.

Note that, in the last example, the speaker used two phrases: “There seems to be a mistake…” and “I think you may have…”

State your feelings

The second step is to say how you feel about the problem.

This step is often not necessary. It will depend on how bad the problem is. Some problems have easy, quick solutions. For example, politely telling people that they forgot something or overcharged you usually leads to a speedy solution.

But imagine that you are receiving poor service at a hotel or restaurant or that a repair shop has damaged your belongings. Or, maybe there is a continuing issue at your apartment building. In these cases, you may need to express how you feel.

Always begin with step 1 – politely explaining the problem.

Then, you can use phrases like “This is…” or “It is…” followed by one or more descriptive words. Let’s hear an example of someone telling their building manager about a problem:

Hi Vanessa. I’m sorry to have to say this but there is still a mouse problem in my apartment. This has been an issue for three months now. It is unacceptable that the problem hasn’t been resolved.

This was a continuing issue, so the speaker used step 2. But, again, use your best judgment to decide whether this step is needed.

Ask for action

The third step is to ask for action to be taken on the problem. This is an important step. Some people do steps 1 and 2, but forget step 3.

Depending on who the listener is, you or they may need to ask someone else to take action. In such cases, ask for the store’s manager. Here is how you can do that in person:

Could I please speak with the manager?

And by phone:

Could you please redirect my call to the manager?

Other times, the listener can solve the problem themselves. You can use indirect questions to ask for action. Listen to a few examples:

Would it be possible to reimburse me?

Is there any chance you could turn the heat up?

You can read more about indirect questions in a past Everyday Grammar program.

Connecting the steps

Now, let’s put the steps together. Let’s hear a short exchange about the damaged clothing:

OK. That’ll be $21.50 please.

Oh, gosh... I just noticed some damage to my clothing. The shirt has a hole and the pants have changed color.

Hmm. I cleaned those myself. I don’t remember damaging anything.

But these pieces are new and I’ve only worn them once. Is there any chance you could reimburse me?

Let me get the manager.

Well, we don’t know how this dispute ends. But we know the complainer was polite and used steps 1 and 3. Using step 2 might depend on the manager’s response.

Making complaints is never easy but knowing how to do it right can it a lot easier!